De-Bundled Parenting Services
By Dr. David Wenzel, For the Sandy Standard
A month ago I signed up for something online that was advertised as "30 Day Free Trial."
Now I somehow have a premium subscription, expanded cloud storage, an ad-free upgrade, and a monthly charge for a service that promised to optimize something I didn't know needed optimizing.
Everything is a subscription now.
One of my streaming services is of course subscription. But then I needed an upgrade to remove commercials. Software that used to cost $99 now costs $9.99 a month forever. Our car occasionally texts me that certain features are available if I would just subscribe to something.
Naturally, this got me thinking about our household budget. How are we going to afford all this? Then it hit me, I could de-bundle our parenting and grandparenting services.
When my son recently asked me to sign a form, I explained that parental signatures were no longer included in the Basic Parent Package. Individual signatures are now available for $5 each. Frequent users may upgrade to Parent Plus, which includes unlimited subscription signatures package
That got me thinking about other parental services that have historically been bundled together. For example, transportation seems like it should provide excellent cash flow.
For years we have offered unlimited rides to school, sports practices, church events, friends' houses, birthday parties, and a myriad of other places. Looking back, this was clearly a missed revenue opportunity.
Under the new plan, local transportation would be available through Ride Share Dad. Premium subscription pricing would apply to "I forgot to tell you until five minutes ago."
Then there is Household Location Services. For years my children have asked questions such as: "Where are my shoes?" "Where is my backpack?" "Have you seen my charger?" “Where’s my phone?” Remarkably, these items are often found within a six-foot radius of where they were last used.
Under the new system, location services are available through a monthly subscription. Premium members receive immediate tracking and location services.
One other possibility for revenue would be food services. Historically, we've offered an unlimited family meal plan with no subscription required. Looking back, this seems financially irresponsible. Under the new system, fresh fruit and vegetables would remain free because they make us look like good parents. Everything else would require an upgrade.
Breakfast would be available through the "Morning Fuel Package." Lunch could be purchased à la carte. Dinner would be included only for Premium subscribers, although there would be a modest surcharge for take-out.
Snacks would operate on a dynamic pricing model. The closer it gets to bedtime, the more expensive they become. Ice cream after 9:00 p.m. would require executive approval and a substantial co-pay.
Historically, we've given all of this away for free.
Clearly we have been doing business incorrectly.
At this point my children began proposing alternatives. They suggested that instead of paying subscription fees they might unload the dishwasher, mow the lawn, take out the trash, vacuum, clean bathrooms, help with dinner, and do their own laundry.
After careful consideration, I accepted their proposal.
As it turns out, de-bundled parenting may not be the financial gold mine I originally imagined. Still, the whole exercise got me thinking. The curious thing about parenting is that it may be one of the last truly all-inclusive services left in our culture.
Parents provide transportation, meal preparation, housekeeping, counseling, coaching, financial assistance, and the occasional search-and-rescue mission. Most of us never send a bill. We simply show up, time and again, doing countless little things that nobody notices until they stop happening.
So maybe parenting doesn't need a subscription model after all.
But I am going to start working on the “Grandparent Support Subscription.” That could be a huge cash cow.
Dave Wenzel is a long-time Sandy Resident and a Licensed Professional Counselor who has spent more than 35 years as a professor and counselor, working with individuals, couples, and families. He and his wife, Hollis, operate River Ridge Counseling and Northwest Marriage Intensives located in the Sandy Business Center. In his column he shares practical insights about relationships, family life, and the human side of everyday struggles.